Archive for May 14th, 2008
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I am starting to get the difference between cats and people. And I’m not talking about the fact that we are a beautiful elegant and intelligent species. Everybody knows that. I’m talking about our philosophy of life. You see, people, throughout their lives, start accumulating beliefs, identities, feelings, thoughts…. and all these things pretty soon start getting them into trouble and restricting their life experience.
But us cats - we live in the moment. There is no past, there is no future, there is only NOW. So we deal only with whatever needs dealing with now. We don’t say - I am angry… we never actually get angry, do we? If a threat comes along we arch our backs and look fierce until the threat is agone, and a minute later we’re back to lying in the sun. We don’t make a big deal out of anything. Ahh, if only people were more like cats…
A typical morning schedule
6:00 am. Owner gets into bed (she works nights) I am snoring at end of bed.
6:15 am. Owner makes a bathroom trip. I am still snoring.
6:30 am. Owner lets out other cat. I am still snoring.
6:43 am. Owner falls asleep. I wake up.
6:46 am. I sit on her pillow, staring at her.
6:47 am. My stare has drilled a hole in her head.
6:48 am. She wakes up, but feigns unconsciousness.
6:50 am. I am onto her. I know a faker. I meow VERY softly. She ignores me.
6:51 am. I meow more loudly. She ignores me.
6:52 am. I place my nose in my ear and meow loudly.
6:52 am. Eardrum ruptures. She tells me to go wake up her husband.
6:53 am. I approach unsuspecting husband. I stare at husband intently.
6:53 am. Husband has no cat radar, therefore continues to sleep.
6:54 am. I sit on husband’s chest. Husband continues sleeping.
6:55 am. I lean forward and meow softly. Husband sleeps on.
6:56 am. I meow more loudly. I am ignored.
6:57 am. I stand on husbands face. Husband, fearing suffocation, wakes up.
6:58 am. Husband stupidly asks, “what do you want, cat?”
6:58 am. I proceed to yank mini blinds off wall and point outside.
7:00 am. Husband lets me out. Finally.
