Archive for May 17th, 2008
Found this on the internet - one of the funniest instructions I have seen. But realistic. Good luck people!
How to Give Your Ca a Pill
by Peggy Althoff
- Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, “Thats a nice kitty.” Drop pill into its mouth.
- Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.
- Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat’s front paws down with left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger.
- Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse to get new cat.)
- Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat’s mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly. Since your head is down by your knees, you won’t be able to see what you’re doing. That’s just as well.
- Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair.
- If you’re a woman, have a good cry. If you’re a man, have a good cry.
- Now pull yourself together. Who’s the boss here anyway? Retrieve cat and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, “Who’s the boss here, anyway?” Open cat’s mouth, take pill and…Oooops!
- This isn’t working, is it? Collapse and think. Aha! Those flashing claws are causing the chaos.
- Crawl to linen closet. Drag back large beach towel. Spread towel on floor.
- Retrieve cat from kitchen counter and pill from potted plant.
- Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge.
- Flatten cat’s front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist impulse to flatten cat.)
- Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time and tabbies wait for no man-or woman.
- Resume position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat’s head. Press its mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon.
- Drop pill into cat’s mouth and poke gently. Voila! It’s done.
- Vacuum up loose fur (cat’s). Apply bandages to wounds (yours).
- Take two aspirins and lie down.
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IF you’re undecided about getting a cat or a dog…Here are some reasons why CATS OF-COURSE!!!
- Cats rule. Dogs drool.
- Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they’re horny.
- Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.
- In 1996, over 10,000 US deaths were attributed to a dog owner’s choking on saliva during morning wake-up licks.
- Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won’t even let you throw them.
- Cats let you kick them when you’re stressed out.
- Cats will wait until you’ve read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.
- Cats look cute sleeping on the TV. Dogs crash right in front of the screen.
- No one has ever had to “Beware of the Cat.”
- Cats bury their crap. Dogs dig up others’.
- Cats have better things to do than stick their nose in your crotch.
- Cats lay on the car in the heat. Dogs in heat lay the car.
- Why do you think they call it “Dog Breath?”
- Garfield. Odie.
- Enough said.
So, since I was diagnosed with Feline (Cat) Diabetes I’ve been looking up the subject on the Internet. Very interesting stuff. Here is an overview. I will update you on my treatment regime.
The disease appears to be most common in cats over six years old and in males (I guess that makes me special since I am female), particularly those who have been neutered. Certain breeds may be more at risk than others, but evidence of this is still unclear. Obesity is also considered to be a factor, although its precise role in this condition is not yet clear either.
An affected cat passes more urine than normal: this is because, when blood glucose levels are too high, glucose is lost together with water through the kidneys. Other symptoms may include:
- Increased thirst, due to the increased production of urine.
- Altered appetite: this is sometimes increased, but more commonly decreased.
- Weight loss.
- Poor coat condition.
- Lethargy.
- Depression.