Archive for May 19th, 2008
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Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them?
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Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress?
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Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?
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Do you scoop out the litter box after each use? Do you wait at the box with the scoop in your hand?
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Do you think it’s cute when your cat swings on the drapes or licks the butter?
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Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?
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Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?
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Do you kiss your cat on the lips?
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Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork?
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Does your cat sit at the table (or ON the table) when you eat?
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Does your cat sleep on your head? Do you like it?
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Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?
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Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?
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Did you buy a video tape of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain your cat?
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Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?
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Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?
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Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas? Do you spend more for your cat than you do for your spouse?
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Do the Christmas cards you send out feature your cat sitting on Santa’s lap? Does your cat sign the card?
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OK - that hurt!! My owner decided that she wants to monitor my blood sugar level at home, so she doesn’t have to take me to the vet every day. See, they have to know if the dose of insulin they inject me with is the right amount, and they have to know if my sugar is too low, and I should get something sweet to eat, or too high and I should get insulin. So with people they prick their finger to get a tiny drop of blood onto the special measuring stick, but with cats they have to prick our ear. OUCH!! it hurts and I won’t let them do it.
My owner saw a home-made video on the Internet of a lady who pricked her cat’s ear and the cat just sat there next to her and didn’t bat an eye. She brough me over to show me how well behaved he is. Well, I don’ know what you’re on dude, but this test hurts. no way. Find a different solution. Use telepathy. No needles in my ear.
Don’t know why I remembered it after all these years - the greatest musical of all times - CATS. Well, I saw it twice, in London, so there is a very warm place in my heart for all the cool cats, but especially Grizabella:
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Remark the Cat who hesitates towards you
In the light of the door which opens on her like a grin
You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand
And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin
Grizabella the Glamour Cat
Grizabella the Glamour Cat
Who would ever suppose that that
Was Grizabella the Glamour Cat?
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And then of-course there is the chilling song Memory,
and the verse that makes my hair stand on end:
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Touch me
It’s so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You’ll understand what happiness is
Look
A new day has begun
