Archive for May, 2008
- If we react to praise or pleasantries, that is developing an ego. If we’re depressed over criticism, that is ego. When we are our Self, there is no reacting.
- Growth is letting go of what you are not.
- Love is effortless whereas hate reqires much effort.
- Your success is determined by your desire for it. If you get discouraged you are not really interested.
- When we go within we discover that all hapiness in there.
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16. Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day.
15. Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.
14. Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of Poland.
13. When you enter the room, Snowball and the other members of the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing with yarn.
12. Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets, and nine suicide bombs.
11. What you thought was “heat” is actually a four-legged goose step.
10. Well, “somebody” subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination.
9. Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals “tattoo” to be blueprint of the UN Building.
8. Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap.
7. Kitty Chow spilled on the floor spells out “Drop the car keys and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head.”
6. Then — dead mice in the kitchen. Now — dead third world dictators in the basement.
5. Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some kind of “land mine” technology.
4. Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23.
3. Has recently been acting somewhat… aloof.
2. What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes up for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies.
..and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Plotting World Domination…
1. Somehow, you’re now subscribed to “Feline of Fortune” magazine
HOW TO WASH THE CAT
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power wash and rinse” which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The DOG
No one knows for sure why a domestic cat purrs, but many people interpret the sound as one of contentment. Human’s understanding of how a domestic cat purrs is becoming more complete; most scientists agree that the larynx (voice box), laryngeal muscles, and a neural oscillator are involved.
Kittens learn how to purr when they are a couple of days old. Veterinarians suggest that this purring tells ‘Mom’ that “I am okay” and that “I am here.” It also indicates a bonding mechanism between kitten and mother.
As the kitten grows into adulthood, purring continues. Many suggest a cat purrs from contentment and pleasure. But a cat also purrs when it is injured and in pain. Dr. Elizabeth Von Muggenthaler has suggested that the purr, with its low frequency vibrations, is a “natural healing mechanism.” Purring may be linked to the strengthening and repairing of bones, relief of pain, and wound healing.
What makes the purr distinctive from other cat vocalizations is that it is produced during the entire respiratory cycle (inhaling and exhaling). Other vocalizations such as the “meow” are limited to the expiration of the breath.
Lets take a break from my diabetes and talk about some upsides (and there are many) of having an older cat, like me, around.
Older cats are generally quieter and more sensible than kittens or young cats and generally need less supervision. They are already used to household life and know the ground rules of living with people. Instead of becoming bored and needing to let off steam in your absence they are more likely to doze, leaving your furnishings intact.
As cats grow older they are more home-oriented and settled, making them excellent companions. If you enjoy pampering your cats, an older cat will be much more appreciative of this attention than a kitten.
Older cats have less energy and are more placid than kittens and are content to spend much of their time watching the world go by. As they slow down, their play becomes less energetic and less alarmingly acrobatic. Cats are at their most companionable in these later years. They enjoy attention and companionship, but will not pester you continually for games. Most owners find caring for such cats a very rewarding experience and in turn, an older cat will enjoy the love and security that a caring cat owner can provide.
Why does a cat go to the visitor who doesn’t like cats?
When one cat is threatening another, it stares boldly, sometimes hisses, and frequently moves in toward the other cat. Usually, the person who doesn’t like cats avoids looking at it, doesn’t talk to it, and sits quietly, hoping to be ignored by the cat. The cat, therefore, sees the person’s behavior as “cat-friendly” and practically inviting.
Why does a cat sometimes wash its fur immediately after being petted?
There are two theories on this behavior. One theory proposes that the cat is getting rid of the human smell. The other is that the cat is furthering the pleasure of his association with you by tasting your scent.
Why does your cat bring you dead or dying creatures?
There are at least four differing theories on this behavior:
- Your cat is bringing you a present, in appreciation for you feeding it or as a sign of affection.
- Your cat realizes you are a totally incompetent mouser and is trying to educate you.
- The cat is bringing her prey home to where it is safe, where she usually eats.
- The cat is simply trying to make sure you have fresh food.
OK people I’ve been getting a lot of questions about why so cats this and why do cats that…. So I’ve decided to open an on-going cat seminar to answer all of your why do cats questions.
I know that us cats are a unique species, we are FULL of personality, we are clever, we can seem to be lazy at times, while very focused and stubborn at other times. We love company but we also love our independance and sace.
We have some strange behaviors like spraying and purring and sitting in high places…..
So hang in there We will answer all of these questions and more in the upcoming posts.
For now - my advice is - accept not knowing.
You’ve heard of several kinds of cat
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter to understand our character
You’ve learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
You’ve seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names
Our habits and our habitat
But how would you ad-dress a cat
So first your memory I’ll jog
And say: a cat is not a dog
So first your memory I’ll jog
And say: a cat is not a dog
With cats, some say one rule is true
Don’t speak ’till you are spoken to
Myself I do not hold with that
I say, you should ad-dress a cat
But always keep in mind that he resents familiarity
You bow, and taking off your hat, ad-dress him in this form “O cat”!
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar or strassburg pie
Some potted grouse or salmon paste
He’s sure to have his personal taste
And so in time you’ll reach your aim
And call him by his name
A cat’s entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that
And there’s how you ad-dress a cat
A cat’s entitled to expect these evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that
And there’s how you ad-dress a cat
T.S. Elliot
“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”
“What’s for breakfast? said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”
“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
“It’s the same thing,” he said.____________________
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like “What about lunch?”
Winnie the Pooh____________________
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Winnie the Pooh____________________
Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.
Winnie the Pooh
Afrikaans: miaau
Albanian: mjau
Arabic (Algeria): miaou miaou
Bengali: meu-meu
Catalan: meu, meu
Chinese (Mandarin): miao miao
Croatian: mijau
Danish: mjav
Dutch: miauw
English: meow
Esperanto: miaw
Estonian: näu
Finnish: miau, kurnau
French: miaou
German: miau
Greek: niaou
Hebrew: miyau
Hindi: mya:u, mya:u:
Hungarian: miau
Icelandic: mjá
Indonesian: ngeong
Italian: miao
Japanese: nyaa
Korean: (n)ya-ong
Norwegian: mjau
Polish: miau
Portuguese: miau
Russian: myau
Slovene: mijau
Spanish (Spain, Argentina): miau
Swedish: mjau
Thai: meow meow (with high tone)
Turkish: miyauv, miyauv
Ukrainian: myau
Vietnamese: meo-meo
