CatsBlog

DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer it with forepaws.

Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an “outside” door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs.
GUESTS: Quickly determine which guest hates cats the most. Sit on that lap.
For sitting on laps or rubbing against trouser legs, select fabric which contrasts well with your fur. For example: white-furred cats go to black wool clothing. NOTE: Velvet takes precedence over all other cloth.

For the guest who exclaims, “I love kitties!” be ready with aloof disdain, apply claws to stockings or arms, or use a quick nip on the ankle.

Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything — just sit there and stare.
PLAY: This is an important part of your life. Get enough sleep in the daytime so you are fresh for your nocturnal games. Below are listed below are several cat games. It is important though to maintain one’s Dignity at all times. If you should have an accident during play, such as falling off a chair, immediately wash a part of your body as if to say “I MEANT to do that!” It fools those humans every time.

SCRATCHING POSTS: It is advised that cats use anything which is most useful to you. They are very protective of what they think is their property and will object strongly if they catch you sharpening your claws on it. Sharpening your claws on a human is a definite no-no!
WATER: Dripping taps are the best sources of fresh water. Toilets are the next best. It is imperative that any sound of running water be investigated immediately for a possible drink. A plaintive meow and licking the faucet usually will get most humans to turn on the tap.

read comments (0)

Demand Attention.
You may have to lie on someone’s head while they sleep or plant your body in front of the television while they watch, but don’t rest until you get all you’re entitled to.

Speech is Overrated.
You don’t have to talk to be the most adorable and lovable one in the house.

Put Up With Your Parents.
So they make you wear Rhinestones - - - it’s not the end of the world. Besides, they are the ones who feed you.

Use Your Senses.
Smell, taste, and touch everything, be it an old shoe or a speck of dirt. Even the smallest item is worthy of your attention.

Practice Good Hygiene.
If you’re dirty, do what you must, where you must, when you must. It doesn’t matter who’s watching.

Stand Up For Yourself
If someone bothers you, get your back up and show a little claw. You’re too cute to be yelled at.

There’s No Such Thing As Too Much Groveling.
Don’t be afraid to cuddle, purr, and nuzzle shamelessly to get your way.

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify.
All that’s really required is that you eat, sleep, love and be loved, and well - - - do your business

read comments (0)