A typical morning schedule
6:00 am. Owner gets into bed (she works nights) I am snoring at end of bed.
6:15 am. Owner makes a bathroom trip. I am still snoring.
6:30 am. Owner lets out other cat. I am still snoring.
6:43 am. Owner falls asleep. I wake up.
6:46 am. I sit on her pillow, staring at her.
6:47 am. My stare has drilled a hole in her head.
6:48 am. She wakes up, but feigns unconsciousness.
6:50 am. I am onto her. I know a faker. I meow VERY softly. She ignores me.
6:51 am. I meow more loudly. She ignores me.
6:52 am. I place my nose in my ear and meow loudly.
6:52 am. Eardrum ruptures. She tells me to go wake up her husband.
6:53 am. I approach unsuspecting husband. I stare at husband intently.
6:53 am. Husband has no cat radar, therefore continues to sleep.
6:54 am. I sit on husband’s chest. Husband continues sleeping.
6:55 am. I lean forward and meow softly. Husband sleeps on.
6:56 am. I meow more loudly. I am ignored.
6:57 am. I stand on husbands face. Husband, fearing suffocation, wakes up.
6:58 am. Husband stupidly asks, “what do you want, cat?”
6:58 am. I proceed to yank mini blinds off wall and point outside.
7:00 am. Husband lets me out. Finally.
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